This morning, around the same time each year, John Lewis brought out their annual Christmas TV advert. It’s hard to top Monty the Penguin or the Man on the Moon, yet the marketing guys at JL tried to keep up with the cuteness overload with Buster the Dog. You can take a watch on their YouTube channel here.

Now, I can’t lie, the first clip where Buster is watching something creaking and bouncing I had to halt my filthy mind. Turns out Buster is just really into the standard activity of jumping on the bed. I don’t think this was a hobby I got into as a child. While my ceilings were substantially high, my bed just didn’t have that optimum bounce. As my mother says, a hard mattress is good for the back.

My grandad bought himself a telescope last year, becoming the real life Man on the Moon but he looks for stars instead of human life. What with all the popularity this year around those trampoline parks, maybe inserting the trampoline into an advert is a good ploy. Well, it means parents don’t have to take their kids down to the trampoline emporium every other week when there’s a perfectly good stand-alone one in the garden.

Well that is until all the animals of Farthing Wood have their turn on it. Times are tough, the economy is a drag, so we can’t expect pesky foxes and badgers to be paying up their share to use Bridget’s trampoline. They have to use it at night when Bridget is fast asleep.

Buster, being the loyal guard dog he is…well he doesn’t do much about these intruding animals on his land. He whimpers from the comfort of inside, watching longingly at these bouncing animals.

When it gets to Christmas Day morning, we see Bridget gasp with astonishment, knowing she never has to settle for her bed again when she feels like a good old jump. But Buster takes the opportunity to leap outside, gallivanting towards the trampoline like he’s just eaten a whole stocking’s worth of dog treats. And he indulges in a stolen bounce.

Now, I was a little disappointed when the advertisement didn’t end with Bridget and Buster jumping together, but with how sensitive the Internet is, there’d be all sorts of animal abuse accusations such as ‘what if she stepped on the dog’. More like what if the dog landed on Bridget, right? Anyway, I guess the slogan ‘gifts that everyone will love’ seems fair. I really hope Bridget is okay about sharing her Christmas present with her dog, as when I was that age, having to share even a crayon would cause me to implode into a tantrum.

I even saw what I hope to be a satirical article about how the advert is a connotation for the 2016 election, and Trump is Buster bouncing away on something we didn’t expect him to win while Clinton is watching on, knowing the prize should be hers. The more I think about it, the more entwined the election result and the advert seem. But it’s Christmas (yes it’s a third through November, it is) and we can’t keep aggravating every possible goodness and purity that enters our lives.

Meanwhile, the only tangible thing I’ve asked for this Christmas is some shoes. I swear down, if I see my cat wearing them on Christmas morning, I will be taking a lot of photos to make memes out of, rather than shun her for being such a Trump.

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